NARCISSISTS: IN FAMILY, LIFE, MINISTRY, PERSONALITY CULT

NARCISSISTS

in Family, Life, Ministry And Personality Cult

“The Covering Big Boss Club of One”

In real-life ministry—on the streets, in churches, fellowships, and leadership networks—you start to notice a recurring pattern. It’s subtle at first. There’s one person, maybe charming, intense, gifted, and confident. They talk big, act bold, and seem to “carry the room.” But something feels… off.

What starts as admiration becomes domination. What began as charisma becomes control. Over time, it morphs into a quiet following—just a few people at first—who orbit this leader’s personality like planets around the sun.

This is what I call “the cult of one.”

What Is the Cult of One?

The “cult of one” isn’t always a big church or mega-ministry. It can be one parent in a household, a boss, a spouse, or a spiritual leader in a small circle.

The common thread? Narcissistic control masquerading as leadership.

Traits of the Cult of One (in layman’s terms):

1. Draws people into dependence
(“You need me to hear God or succeed.”)

2. Builds loyalty through manipulation or flattery
(“You’re special because you’re close to me.”)

3. Isolates others from outside voices
(“Don’t listen to them—they don’t understand you like I do.”)

4. Cannot be corrected without backlash
(Try confronting them, and you’ll feel the heat.)

5. Over time, their circle becomes a small cultic system, where the leader is untouchable, and others lose their voice, identity, or sense of spiritual freedom.

When the Narcissist Gets a Microphone:

From Cult of One to Cultic Ministry

Now imagine that same personality type gets a platform, media team, donors, and a ministry brand. What was once the “cult of one” becomes the cult of the well-known minister.

Their house hold name is louder than Jesus.

Their gifted words seduce, and outweigh or replace, or contradict, are in opposition to authentic Bible Scripture.

Their image becomes the brand.

Their critics are accused as “unsubmitted” “troublemakers’ “rebels” or “Queen Jezebels” “witches.” “underminers” are rumored about as weak and toxic (“offended” ‘”jealous”)

They are renown but deeply in bred: Their inner circle is often a self reflecting, style or type also a compliant, mainly non questioning “yes-man” ..a collective echo chamber.

Again, and very sadly, many people follow these for they are prone to be commanded and controlled by others. They are not wise yet ,nor Bible strong are ‘easily swayed ” by looks, form, high style, charisma and the wannabe ‘elevated and accepted” in the accomplished ministry.

Plus the many hangers on, ‘seeming to the ‘the devout true followers” know no better. They are told to “follow the top leader, as only ‘he, she’ knows how to safeguard their eternal future, their ministry huge success and each of their personal and family relationship and also amass a due fortune in finances.

Confused or deceived or blinded, they follow “the form” the ‘system’ the Big Boss Cult rather than be accountable directly to the Lord (according to Apostle Paul Philippians 2:12 “work out your own salvation with fear and trembling” also Psalm 118:8-9;

And they become property of the top Christian narcissist, as they “mesmerized” worn down and get comfortably accustomed to being ordered around, manipulation and realize that to be safe and respected that they must tow the in house party line, strict or lax…and the pay off? Accepted by the Top Big Brass who owns and rules all of the power, the people, the perks and the politics, and is renown and respected in their elevate position of greatness.

What the Bible Says: Narcissism and False Authority

Though the Bible doesn’t use the word “narcissist,” it describes this spirit with pinpoint accuracy.
2 Timothy 3:1–5 (KJV)

“In the last days perilous times shall come. For men shall be lovers of their own selves… boasters, proud, blasphemers… lovers of pleasures more than lovers of God; having a form of godliness, but denying the power thereof: from such turn away.”

This is not just end-times behavior. It’s the fruit of unchecked ego in leadership.

Jesus also warns:
Matthew 23:5–7

“Everything they do is done for people to see… they love the place of honor… to be greeted with respect and called Rabbi.”

He was calling out spiritual narcissism—a religious system that fed the ego, not the Spirit.

What’s Really Behind It: Identity Without Intimacy

+ At its root, narcissistic ministry builds on giftings instead of godly character.

+ The narcissist (Christian or not) is addicted to admiration and visibility, but disconnected from vulnerability and accountability. They can quote Bible but refuse to apply it to themselves.

Jesus said it best:
Matthew 7:21–23

“Many will say to me on that day, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in Your name… and perform many miracles?’ Then I will tell them plainly, ‘I never knew you.’”

The Lesson: They were “famous,” but unfamiliar to Jesus.

What Can We Do About It?
1. Discern by the Fruit, Not the Flair:

Charisma is not character. Jesus said:

“You will know them by their fruits.” (Matthew 7:16)

2. Build Relationships, Not Personal Kingdoms

True ministry points people to Jesus, not to a human celebrity.

“He must increase, but I must decrease.” (John 3:30)

3. True Churches reate Cult-Free Zones

Encourage mutual respect, (see Paul Ephesians 5:21) accountability, and open dialogue.
Cults thrive where people are afraid to ask questions.

4. Embrace Servant Leadership

Jesus washed feet. He didn’t demand thrones.

“The greatest among you must be your servant.” (Matthew 23:11)

Final Thought: Don’t Be Intimidated—Be Alert

Not every strong popular leader is seductive or narcissistic.

But if your spirit feels quenched, your voice feels muted, and your freedom feels squashed—step back and pray.
God’s real leaders don’t create cults.(they are like Paul “follow me only as I follow Christ ” “work out your own salvation with fear and trembling” Phillippians 2:12
They cultivate Christlike character and invite others to grow, ask, speak, and discern.
Let’s be the kind of leaders—and ministries—that make Jesus the center again.